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Introduction

In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo talk about holidays and resting, whether you go abroad, travel far and wide or have a staycation or whether you take time off to celebrate a special occasion or simply make the most of the Bank Holiday weekend. Whatever you do, wherever you go and whoever you go with, Andy and Jo ask what is your heart for these holidays, what are you doing it for and will your marriage benefit?

Andy and Jo affirm the importance of rest but interestingly this week they find no holidays or bible passages about holidays specifically in the bible, but they do find celebrations. And let’s face it Jesus’ first miracle is to change water into wine, so clearly God wants us to ‘let our hair down’!

The bible tells us to rest and gives many examples of celebrations

  • Check out Genesis 1 – when God rested on the seventh day
  • Check out when Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding celebration in John 2

You could also check out other celebrations throughout the bible!

Tips and Resources

  • Don’t live for the weekend, your days off or holidays
  • What’s your heart for holidays – good or bad? Healthy Heart, Healthy Holiday!
  • Watch a holiday disaster film together, like RV with Robin Williams  to help you put holidays in perspective!

The Take Away

Andy and Jo both reiterate the importance of rest and the benefits of holidays and advise us to work out the differences between you in marriage beforehand, so that you choose the right holiday for you both. And giving, like everything in life prayerful consideration how you use your time for God.

Andy asks us to think about our motivation behind holidays – are our motives pure? It’s good to rest and to holiday together, but don’t build a sun tans, build memories!

Andy and Jo

 

 

Andy 0:49 Well, hello, and welcome to another amazing Marriage Matters.

Jo 0:53 Hello!

Andy 0:54 Where we learn about the awesomeness of humility. Is that another episode?

Jo 0:57 Yeah, maybe I'm Jo.

Andy 0:59 And I'm Andy. And this isn't awesome and humility. No.

Jo 1:02 No.

Andy 1:02 Anyway, this is Marriage Matters where we discuss matters of the marriage that matter, because Marriage Matters.

Jo 1:02 Yes.

Andy 1:02 Hey, it's getting slick now.

Jo 1:02 Absolutely!

Andy 1:02 You thought I was gonna forget that, didn't you? Hoped I was gonna forget that. So welcome! You're very welcome to join us. Don't miss out on what we're doing. So, if you like us on Facebook, subscribe to our YouTube channel, there's Vimeo as well, and also Tumblr, and also Twitter.

Jo 1:02 Wow!

Andy 1:02 So don't complain, you can't get in touch! And, also, the best thing to ever ever do in regards to keeping in touch with us is to sign up to our newsletter called Berry Bytes, which is a weekly and monthly newsletter so you won't miss out on anything that we do. And it's called Berry Bytes with a Y?

Andy 1:05 Because, because you can.

Andy 1:06 Because Y not?

Jo 1:09 Brilliant.

Andy 1:10 I thought up that myself.

Jo 1:53 You did, didn't you?

Andy 1:54 Yes.

Jo 1:54 So this, this episode is. What was it? It's Work Hard and Play Hard, wasn't it? And it kind of follows on from our last episode, where we looked at working, at work in the relationship, and how that, that works. And so we thought, actually, on the other side of the flip side of that is holidays, is rest time. In particular holidays.

Andy 2:14 We're all going on a

Jo 2:15 Oh, no, no, don't sing the song. Yeah, so holidays. You know, they can be quite problematic. Do you go on holiday? How do you choose the holiday? What about family? Extended family? Children? Money? All kinds of things. Not all of us can afford to go on holiday, or not very often. Sometimes we can, and we want to. I know COVID, for two years, that really screwed, you know did it didn't help any of our holiday plans at all, for a good two years, wasn't it? But yeah, just thinking about how that fits in. How how we work that through as a couple. And it's interesting because every time we go to the Bible, we go "Oh, there's lots on this, lots on friendship, lots on this" and we went to it about holidays and it's like

Jo 2:15 There's nothing in the concordance under H, for holiday!

Jo 2:26 So I mean are you can't imagine Moses and Abraham and all of them lot going on holiday can you really?

Andy 3:06 Popping down the Dead Sea? No! That wouldn't be a holiday trip. That'd be a fishing expedition.

Jo 3:10 But maybe we've got the wrong attitude about it. Maybe we see holidays as, you know, something that we have to have, to keep up with the Joneses. I think, sometimes, we get really stressed on holiday, don't we? We get stressed getting it planned.

Andy 3:26 I do remember somebody, years ago, and it was, well we were getting to a home group and we were praying for, you know, what things have you got to pray for. And she was genuinely, almost tearful, talking about the immense stress she was under, because she had to plan for three, 2 week holidays that year.

Jo 3:41 Yeah, strange isn't it!

Andy 3:42 And I remember thinking, at the time, I haven't had a holiday for four years. The woman next to me, she just said she hasn't had a holiday for 7 years, and you're stressing about three fortnight holidays. Well, we actually joked because we were giving each other a lift home, 'Well, why don't you give us each one', then she'll have less to stress about and we'll actually have a holiday.

Jo 4:01 Yeah, absolutely. So it does, it does cause problems. If you've got too many holidays. Not enough. Maybe, you know, one person wants to go to a hot country and just laze about,

Andy 4:11 No thanks.

Jo 4:12 And others want to go on walking holidays.

Andy 4:13 Yes please.

Jo 4:14 I mean, oftentimes, you know, we tend to get together as a couple because we've got similar interests, but not always got the same when it comes to holidays. And we're fortunate, aren't we? We tend to want to go to similar places.

Andy 4:24 We wanna be togevva.

Jo 4:28 But yeah, that's what we're tackling today. As I say, there's nothing around holidays in the Bible, per se.

Andy 4:33 You can't say the Bible says 'I should have a holiday'. I'm afraid, it's just not in there.

Jo 4:37 No.

Andy 4:37 However, the Bible does talk about rest.

Jo 4:39 Yeah, absolutely.

Andy 4:40 As part of a cycle of what

Jo 4:42 Yeah absolutely. And the other thing that's in the Bible it talks about celebrating festivals, and talks about the year of Jubilee, so there's, there is time to rest and relax and enjoy yourselves

Andy 4:53 Jesus' first miracle was making proper pukka wine.

Jo 4:57 Yes.

Andy 4:57 At a party.

Jo 4:58 And that is dead relaxing that is.

Andy 5:00 So, He obviously wants us to have a nice time.

Jo 5:02 Absolutely. So that's what we're looking at on this episode,

Andy 5:05 I got the tea in the wrong hand and I can't press the button.

Andy 5:09 In 2018, Jo and I were full time Children's Ministers, loving what we were doing, and wanting to share our resources freely with others to use. Scroll on two years, to 2020, nd we'd finally launched our BerryBunch.family website, chocked full of resources.

Andy 5:26 It was a bit embarrassing, when we had one video. But, we've now got nearly 500 videos for you to use, stream, share and download, with 900 posts. All full of information that you are free to use in your situation, whether that's a church, a family, or just for your own personal use.

Andy 5:43 We've been asked to do all sorts of things, we've made logos for somebody who wanted a new logo for their blog. We've been asked to create a Children's Discipleship group, so we've done that.

Andy 5:52 We've been asked to create a book about Broken Dreams, and Hope! and we've done that as well. We love creating resources that are relevant for your situation. So get in touch with what your needs are!

Andy 6:03 Our vision and our passion is to create material that is family safe, For Free, For All, wherever you are in the world, and that is exactly what we do.

Andy 6:13 So if you want to help us continue to do that, or if you want us to make something specific for your situation, then get in touch!

Jo 6:34 So, welcome back to our episode on, Work Hard and Play Hard. And we're focusing on the rest, and holidays really. And so we've been saying that there isn't actually anything in the Bible that tells us to have a holiday. But, clearly, right at the beginning, God had a day of rest on the seventh day. So we're really, when we're talking about holidays, we're talking about rest, aren't we, Andy?

Andy 6:57 Yeah, I think the other thing that's fascinating about the Jewish. kind of, culture, as you mentioned in the first part about festivals. Well, these are big, extended, I mean, we think of it in the UK as a Bank Holiday Weekend. It's not a two day weekend, it's a three or a four day weekend. Well, when you have a big festival, and everybody comes together, that's the same kind of thing, perhaps with different words and language. But it'll be time together, resting, meeting people, you wouldn't need to necessarily see. You wouldn't be working because you would be somewhere different anyway. And it would be kind of like a Bank Holiday Weekend, a la Jewish, really.

Andy 7:31 So I think, I think maybe the language is a bit confusing here. Because you're talking about holidays. Holidays is not a biblical thing! However, Jesus's first miracle was making wine at a party. So clearly, we're supposed to feast. Feasting was a big part of the Jewish culture. I quite like that idea. Yeah, good! So all this is going on. And, actually, I don't think holidays is a bad word. But it's not a biblical word. But resting is. Having time when we're deliberately not working. That's definitely a biblical principle! So if there isn't a word that we can use from scripture, then what are the principles about this thing?

Jo 8:05 Yeah, Absolutely.

Andy 8:05 And when it comes to holidays is not biblical. Nor is a five day week. Sorry. A six day week is a very biblical thing! So when we were in full time ministry, we worked a six days a week, and it felt quite normal. I didn't enjoy being paid for a 6 day week in a normal job, but it's a very biblical model, actually.

Jo 8:24 Yeah, I mean, obviously, like anything in life, you can have arguments about holidays, about rest time, what you do with your free time. And so it's something that you need to work together, pray together, think about, because it's important to rest well, in order to be productive, be able to work, you know, at the pace that God wants us to go. So we've talked, as I say, about work before. But the holiday is just as important or I say holiday, I say rest. I do love the long weekends. bank holiday weekends are great.

Andy 8:54 Time away from the norm perhaps.

Jo 8:56 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And that's the key, isn't it? To being able to just do something different. So, if you do gardening for a living, if you do gardening on your weekend, it might not be what you want. But it may be you know, work can be rest isn't it. It's interesting what is someone feels restful with and another person will think, well, that's not going to help me.

Jo 8:56 I really enjoy washing the car of a Sunday afternoon and my family don't appreciate it quite as much as I do. But being able to have a car nice and clean for Jo, for a Monday morning, makes me really happy.

Jo 9:26 Yeah, absolutely.

Andy 9:27 I think that, perhaps, the best way of looking at this then would be not to think about the word holiday or other times or whatever, is what is the point, wat is the purpose? Are you doing this as an opportunity to escape from people? Well, that's not necessarily good. Are you doing it because you deserve a holiday? Well that's definitely not a good attitude? You know, what's the heart? Are you doing it because you want some time away to recharge your batteries, you work really hard and you need some time away, and actually you need to regroup and you want to spend some time with God. Well, that's a good healthy thing. We think about, what's the word when people go on, like, to a religious place.

Jo 10:02 Pilgrimage.

Andy 10:02 Thank you. Pilgrimage. I mean, that's not working is it?

Jo 10:05 No.

Andy 10:05 You might work on your way there. But pilgrimage is about going somewhere for a reason. So it's very different. But I think the best, perhaps, way of looking at this subject today is what is your heart? What is your purpose for that two week break? Legally, you have to have a break from work. You have to have breaks off. But what is your purpose? Why do you want to have that break?

Andy 10:24 Is it to look good? Is it because you want to burn your skin and look better than the next person? Is that why you want to go to a hot climate, you know? Do you want to go to a cold place, because you like skiing and you've got lots of money and that's a really good thing for you to do. And what's the heart behind it? As ever, as Christians? It's not so much what does the Bible say? But, actually, what's our heart behind it? Because God cares about our heart and our motivation. In the same way that we don't just give our tithe. Yes, that's a good starting point. But it isn't just giving money. It's, it's giving, it's about giving of our heart.

Jo 10:51 I think that's a really good point. Because that's the bone of contention isn't it? You know, if we get stressed about going on holiday, and we're stressed on holiday, you hear about it at the traffic jams, or, you know, you're stuck at the airport, all kinds of things can go wrong. But if your heart is, you want to spend time with your family want to rest, you can have a laugh about it, you can have fun, even through the difficult times of a disastrous holiday or, or stresses in a holiday. And it shouldn't really be stressful, should it and it's not the point of it!

Andy 11:20 I mean, things can go wrong. Of course they can. But if if you're starting out and you've got a three o'clock plane, and you're tired, and you're fed up, and you're ratty, and, you know. Wwe went on a holiday, you went to a place called Guernsey off the south, sort of between the bottom of England and France, there's these three little, they're not quite British islands. I never quite know what they are. But they're sort of England, but they're not. But we went there and we had this all sorted out, we were gonna go see a friend for a coffee on the way, and get the ferry across. And it was all lovely. And we got a phone call. 'Sorry, rough seas, ferries cancelled, if you want to go you got to go at two o'clock tonight'.

Jo 11:51 Yeah.

Andy 11:51 So then we had to pack everything in the car. It was about a four hour drive to get to the ferry. So, all of a sudden, we, I had a full day at work. Jo had a full day at work. We came home, threw stuff in the back of the car, picked up somebody who was going on holiday with us, we charged down to the port, just about got on the boat, and we spent, you know, a day or two trying to recover from that. So of our two weeks, we lost two days. You can't do stuff, anything about that. Things are gonna go wrong.

Andy 12:13 It was around the time of 9,11. So we came home two days after 911. That was, that was stressful. You can't you can't plan for these things. However, we had a great time. Yeah, because you made the most of the time that we were there. And I think it always comes down to what is our heart? What is our motivation? Why do we want to go on a holiday? Is it to show that we've got money because look at where we're going? Well, there's better ways of you spending your money? Or is it because it's important to us, and we believe God's calling us to have some downtime.

Andy 12:40 I knew a couple. They were missionaries who had retired from kind of full time missionary work if you like, but their summers were spent in Ibiza, in Spain. Now, it wasn't aholiday. They were going to a holiday destination, but they were there to mission, they were there to help especially some of the young women who were getting drunk, and the men, and trying to bring some sense of Christ into that place. It's quite an evil place especially certain certain elements. And that's where they went. And that's what they did. Now that's a holiday destination. And I'm sure they enjoyed the sun. But they were there to serve people. And holiday just is not a biblical concept.

Jo 13:18 That's interesting, isn't it?

Andy 13:19 Resting is!

Jo 13:20 Yeah, absolutely. And how we rest and where we go? And I'm sure it's caused a lot of arguments between couples, isn't it as to where you might go away? And and all of that. And it's hard sometimes to tie it together, isn't it? You're working different shifts? Or you've got children to be involved? Or grandma and grandparents and stuff like that. So, yeah, I think you're right. It's that heart, isn't it? It's the reason why you're doing it. And I think it's about quality time, isn't it? It's bit like some of the episodes we talked about Date Night. I mean, this is a holiday, isn't it. A date sort of holiday, depending on if it's just you as a couple. I mean, you've got the honeymoon as well don't forget, which is a kind of a holiday. I mean, not everyone has a honeymoon.

Andy 13:59 No.

Jo 13:59 But it's a specific time, isn't it, when you've just got married. It's basically a holiday, isn't it?

Andy 14:03 I think it's quite important and valuable.

Jo 14:05 Yeah.

Andy 14:06 We're not gonna go into the Jewish. I love the Jewish history. It's great. We're not going to Jewish marriage stuff, that's not relevant. But there was kind of a party atmosphere about that as well, which we'll touch on in another episode. But the honeymoon, yeah. That's a good point, as you say? I mean, retirement is not a biblical concept. However, seasons of life are. And we can't continue in our jobs indefinitely. Therefore, there is a point at which to stop. And if there is a point to stop, why not do it and call it retirement?

Jo 14:31 Yeah.

Andy 14:32 But we need to understand what, what does the Bible say? What what does God say? It's always that heart and that attitude. I knew a guy who, in the summer he had two weeks holiday, but he always gave I think it was two of those days he committed to his local church, to serve them for a holiday club. And he's like, 'Well, no, I want to serve my church as well. It's not just about me going away'. You know, they went to nice places. So he had a, he had a two week holiday. He, they broke down how far, how long they were away at that two weeks so they could serve the church at a holiday Club, which always happens to just fall. So he gave two, two days to that. And it was great. It was really invaluable help.

Andy 15:03 So, again, what are you going to do with that time? Is it just to get away from people? You know, maybe you need that. We had four years away from people, and it was really, really important for my own mental health. So maybe that's good. But what's your motivation? What's your heart? And how do you navigate, 'I want to go to Iceland' well 'I want to go to south of Spain', you know. If you've got somebody who really likes deserts, and somebody who likes cold climates, you're gonna have a bit of an issue.

Jo 15:26 Yeah.

Andy 15:27 Like you say, thankfully, we both like, not too hot, not too cold.

Jo 15:30 Yeah, that's right.

Andy 15:30 We're sort of very British in that sense. But yeah, how do you navigate that? How do you navigate that well? And what do you do on holiday?

Andy 15:36 I remember, somebody was asking me once. They were going on holiday, and it was, what was it? It was a chat room for married couples I think. And they were like, well, we want to have physical intimacy on holiday, but we're sharing a little cottage. And, well, our children, we haven't got a lock on the door? How are we going to do that? You know, how do you navigate that with little children? So I said, we'll take a door wedge. That's what we do. Put a door wedge under. If you haven't got a door wedge get a big dressing gown, drop it behind there, 'Ooh the dressing gown's behind the door'. Then you're not lying, you see? And it's fine. So we need to think about these things. And when you're on holiday, you know, do you need to buy food, you have to plan for these things.

Andy 16:06 At the same time, the Scripture that does come to mind is the one that says 'don't make a plan to go to this city and sell this and to do that and to do business. Always do it, in God's will. Is God willing us? So, yes, plan to go on holiday. Pack your suitcase, get you to get your plane sorted. Make sure your passports are in date and whatever. But it's that phrase, 'hang on loosely' because, well,, what if it changes?

Andy 16:26 We had a holiday booked just before COVID?

Jo 16:29 Yeah.

Andy 16:29 And we had a phone call from the holiday place saying 'we're really sorry, it's been cancelled'. And it was gutting because we hadn't had a holiday for many years. This was four days away from a pretty hellish situation. And we were really needing that. And then COVID happened, and then we lost our holiday, so we were gutted.

Jo 16:43 Yeah.

Andy 16:43 So we will we were basically building our life around a holiday.

Jo 16:46 Yeah.

Andy 16:47 And if you live your life to the next holiday, or the next weekend, well, you need to work on your week. You need to work on why is that holiday so desperately important? If you're living in a miserable place, and we had a house that was, we had asbestos, we had floods and all sorts, we went on a holiday to get away from that. There can be good things to that. At the same time, what's your motivation? What's your heart? And how do you navigate where you go? How long for? Do you take your four weeks from holiday? 'That's my time. I'm gonna go on holiday. I work hard. I deserve a holiday'. Or are you gonna say 'Wow, I've got four weeks off from work. How can I serve God better?' Yeah. Which one of those two sounds better?

Jo 17:24 Yeah

Andy 17:24 I mean, I use an extreme voice. But yeah, you get the point.

Jo 17:27 I must admit, we all joke at work, and I'm sure it's the same wherever you go, you don't really want to go on holiday because you know you're going to come back to a lot more work, don't you?

Andy 17:35 Yes!

Jo 17:35 And often people don't go any longer than a week 'cos they couldn't cope with what they come back to. So yeah, there are some sort of pitfalls, difficulties around holiday. It's good to rest. It's good to get away, or get out of the routine. Like Stay Vacations have been the big buzzword haven't they?

Andy 17:50 We had one, one year, but a lot of people have had Stay Vacations through COVID.

Jo 17:54 Yes.

Andy 17:54 They discovered the joy of what we've done for many years.

Jo 17:56 Yeah.

Andy 17:57 Stay at home! It's cheaper, it's free.

Jo 17:59 Yeah absolutely.

Andy 17:59 Pretty much.

Jo 18:00 And yeah, there's there's some benefits to that 'cos you know where everything is? You havden't gotta find the supermarket, or find. Because that can be part of the holiday, isn't it, trying to find things and and get what you need. But you don't have that with a Stay Vacation, which is great.

Andy 18:11 And with a Stay Vacation you don't have to worry about breaking the back window with your car by shoving too much in your boot, or trunk if you're American. You can put less in!

Andy 18:11 Yeah, absolutely. So there's lots to think about around holidays. I just love the fact that there's nothing in the Bible about it. And so, you know, that's just interesting, isn't it?

Andy 18:29 It is. So what's your motivation? What's your heart? What's the principle?

Jo 18:32 Yes.

Andy 18:33 God loves us to have fun, and have good times.

Jo 18:35 Yeah.

Andy 18:36 That's important. It's really, really important actually to let your hair down. But how do you let your hair down? Where do you let your hair down? Why do you let your hair down? Is it because you deserve it? Well, maybe you do but maybe those four weeks could be split and you give some of your tithing is giving some of your holiday away to your local church, to support them. Just a thought. There's a good Andy B video there, isn't there!

Jo 18:58 So, let's pray and he's gonna come on and show us how to pray. Excellent. What, what have you got there?

Andy 19:04 It's my world Atlas.

Jo 19:05 Okay.

Andy 19:06 So I can pray for the world.

Jo 19:10 You gonna show us how to do that then?

Andy 19:11 Yeah. Yeah, so I've gone, I've got me Atlas. And if you go to the letter A I'm going to start here so,

Jo 19:17 Yeah.

Andy 19:17 And please God, please bless Abenra, and Arcshun and Arbor.

Jo 19:24 What did you like about the story?

Dave the Dog 19:27 Bob.

Jo 19:27 You liked Bob?

Dave the Dog 19:28 And the stick?

Jo 19:29 And the stick.

Jo 19:30 You like the stick?

Dave the Dog 19:31 Me like sticks a lot I do.

Jo 19:33 Well, okay, well we'll try and make sure there's more stories with sticks in Dave,

Dave the Dog 19:36 Thankyou.

Jo 19:36 Especially for you

Jo 19:51 So Tips and Resources section

Andy 19:53 Tips and Resources.

Jo 19:54 Yeah.

Andy 19:55 I've really goto to sort a logo out. A little jingly thing.

Jo 19:59 Do you know? We were thinking about it. And it's like, well really, don't live for holidays. I think that's my biggest tip. And we can do it from week to week. It's like, oh, when's, thank crunchy, it's Friday. Oops, any othe chocolate bars can be eaten on a Friday. But you know, oh, when's Friday? And you have a Monday and everyone's, Bank Holiday Monday, and everyone's thrown out and thinking, Oh, thank goodness, we've only got a four day week. And it's quite sad, really, because God created us to work. And that's our purpose in life. And I think we, I, my top tip would be to be careful about that. To enjoy your days of work, and not live for those holidays, live for those rest days, and weekends.

Andy 20:35 Yeah, I think that's definitely a part of it. I was thinking, also, we've mentioned a lot about your heart. And what's your motivation? Why is it you want to have a holiday, but I was thinking again about this. Can you give some time away? Can you take your holiday and think this isn't mine, but this is God's time, you know. God's given me the health, skills, ability to have a, to have a working life. Therefore, because I've got to have a holiday that actually you can say the same thing. God's given me the ability to have a holiday, annual leave, or whatever. Well, how do you, how are you going to use that and really think about that.

Andy 21:07 But I was just thinking about our time away and what, what's your purpose, you know? A top tip for me would be we need time away. We can relax in that fact. God wants us to have downtime, really important. God did it on the seventh day. So, therefore, we need to have downtime. And whether it's the seventh day, or for seven days, or whatever, we need those periods of actually resting. But how do you do that? And how do you define it? And I'm sort of steered, drifting a little bit out of tips, but it got me thinking as you were speaking that, you know, what's the motivation? Well, you can think about that, but living for your living for your holiday. Well, that's not a good thing. But if your holiday is an excuse for indulgence.

Andy 21:48 I know some people that never smoke, but on holiday, they chain smoke cigars. Or they never drink, but on holiday they get drunk every night. You know, if your holiday is an excuse for gluttony, well, that's a sin. Well, that's not good!

Andy 22:00 If your holiday is an excuse to do nothing. Well, actively resting is one thing. But literally doing nothing just because you don't want to do anything? That's laziness. So, again, motivation, but it just got me thinking about what, make sure you're not going for your holidays, because that's a time when you can do what you want and you can indulge in things you shouldn't do.

Jo 22:20 Yeah.

Andy 22:21 Which is sort of a top tip.

Jo 22:22 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah. I thought had some another idea. But thinking about, I don't know if you've had a disastrous holiday. But I think one of the things you can do is is just relax and watch a disasterous film. There's one, was it RV? Isn't it? I mean, I'm sure you know loads. But just sit and watch a film about that. And I think that in itself is really helpful to put it into perspective I suppose.

Jo 22:43 Well, we did, but it wasn't that bad?

Jo 22:45 There's that. But I think a lot of the themes that come out from these disasterous holidays is that it brings the family together, that something positive comes out of it, because there was a a lot of selfishness, on route to the holiday.

Andy 22:56 A good holiday is not measured by your suntan. A good holiday is measured by, and now I've completely forgotten.

Jo 23:04 It's gone out of your head, hasn't it?

Andy 23:06 No, that's gone! That was a really good thought. What were you saying?

Jo 23:09 I was talking about how the family were better together.

Andy 23:12 A good holiday is not one that builds your suntan. A good holiday is one where you have memories that are precious and treasured.

Jo 23:17 Yeah.

Andy 23:18 I will always treasure taking my grandfather to Spain for a holiday, his last holiday abroad. He'd been all around the world with fighting and whatever, in the war. And then my, my grandparents used to go away quite a lot. We went to Spain. He'd been there loads. I mean, you walk down the beach front, and you can buy your Daily Mirror and your, your Sun newspaper and they'll say "How are you doing?" They're speaking English.

Jo 23:40 Yeah.

Andy 23:41 For Jo and I it's like, we're in Spain. So we hired a car for a week and we went off into the mountains and we explored places where they didn't speak English. And we had a whale of a time! And me granddad was great. He had never been to these places, because they didn't drive And it wasn't, you know, a bus and a train ride away. So I'm really pleased that we did that. It was kind of tiring. It was very stressful with 9,11 happening two days before we flew home. However, getting out, having that holiday, taking my granddad up into the mountains, oh that's a memory I still hold dearly.

Jo 24:11 Yeah, I guess. I guess you need to plan, and to pray together, think about what it is and not assume that the other other half, you know, youre other sort of half wants to. you always tell me off for saying that don't you!

Andy 24:21 You tell me off.

Jo 24:23 You know, if your spouse, you assume your spouse will want to go to this destination or that destination, it's good to talk about it, and make sort of plans. And if one of you what particularly wants to go on one destination then perhaps, you know, change the destination the next time and stuff like that. Like you say it's about looking after each other and helping each other and it's the attitude towards that time, isn't it? Yeah.

Nathan 24:51 "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come".

Nathan 24:59 The point of this Scripture is that while physical training is good, it is beneficial for us, it keeps us fit, it keeps us healthy, it's not nearly as beneficial as spiritual training and all that makes up training for godliness such as reading our Bibles, praying and going to church. And that is the point of Endurance. It is to show how we can maintain self discipline and how we can endure training for godliness.

Nathan 25:25 With that in mind, go check it out!

Andy 25:43 And we're back.

Jo 25:44 Yes.

Andy 25:44 For the takeaway. Not diiner time yet. No! So, we're back for The Take Away as we're looking at the subject of

Jo 25:52 Work Hard and Play Hard.

Andy 25:54 Which is all about]

Jo 25:55 Well, resting really, isn't it? Rather than the word holiday.

Andy 25:59 Extended seventh days?

Jo 26:00 Yeah

Andy 26:01 That sounds like the name of a band doesn't it. So, yeah, well, there's nothing in the Bible about having a holiday. But there is plenty in the scriptures, especially Genesis chapter one. What does God do Himself? On the seventh day He rested.

Andy 26:13 We also see that Jesus' first miracle was making wine for big ol party, and it was the best of wines. So, clearly, God is all for us having a good time, and having some fun with other people. That's really important.

Andy 26:24 You look at the Jewish culture, which is what Jesus would have been brought up in, and around, they had loads of feasts around their festivals. So they made a big deal of being together. So that was good. So God clearly wants us to have extended times. Now, in today's world, we say holiday, or annual leave, which is a bit ,bit worky innit? "I am going on the annual leave". So, yeah, when we have holidays, there's nothing wrong with that. It's nothing against the Bible. But the Bible doesn't support it either. But it supports everything around it.

Andy 26:52 In the same way, the Bible doesn't say gambling is wrong. Is there are a big hush from everybody? It doesn't. But it talks about all these issues that point to the fact that gambling is a really, really bad thing to do. So we can read around these, without making stuff up, without having to add in extra stuff. It's quite clear that God wants us to have periods of rest, including perhaps even retirement. Although retirement tends to be more work, from for the men that I've met, and women that I've met that have retired.

Andy 27:15 So my Take Away today is really thinking about is what's, what's the motivation? What's the purpose of the holiday? What is the purpose of stopping work, and doing something different? What is your heart? What is your motivation? What's your favourite holiday moment with me in the last 25 years.

Jo 27:33 Wow, gosh, that's, I don't know. I mean, I, we love going to Scotland, don't we?

Andy 27:39 Oh, we love Scotland.

Jo 27:40 And I think I suppose I do remember, many years ago we went to Scotland, and when you discovered cheese, you liked cheese. And, 'cos I always felt a bit lonely having my wine and cheese. And you said, 'oh, I'll try some'. And I love, that for me, represents a holiday or celebration, is a lovely,

Andy 27:58 Memory

Jo 27:58 Either a port, or glass of red wine, and with some selection of cheeses and biscuits. And I just thought that was just very relaxing and enjoyable.

Andy 28:06 Do you want the back end of the story? She was really happy that I started to eat cheese with her. And then she became really unhappy that I was eating the cheese that she wanted.

Jo 28:13 Yeah, it is sort of,

Andy 28:15 How the tides have turned!

Jo 28:15 The novelty wore off.

Andy 28:17 Okay, worst holiday moment.

Jo 28:18 Worst?

Andy 28:19 I mean, bear in mind, we've had probably 4 good holidays.

Jo 28:22 Yeah.

Andy 28:22 What you'd class as your two week classic holiday away. We've had other breaks as well.

Jo 28:26 I suppose, I suppose there have been times, and it's not just going away on holiday, being at home, where perhaps you and I have not been getting on, or we've had an argument, and it's just it's caused, it seems to have spread across the period of time. And it's sort of spoiled the whole time. And it's, we've not been able to get ourselves out of that, that funk isn't it.

Andy 28:43 Which usually happens because we've not dealt with the fact we're tired. We've got an issue and having downtime together when you have an issue doesn't fix the issue.

Jo 28:51 No.

Andy 28:51 Actually just means that now you can talk about it and yeah, not get on quite so well.

Jo 28:56 Yeah. So I suppose another sort of top tip is that, you know, don't don't worry if it's not going well, or you're sad, 'cos it's, you know holidays aren't supposed to be perfect. I almost feel like we're supposed to have a perfect time, you know, and it's not like that. It's still every day, isn't it. And it's life.

Andy 29:09 Do you know my favourite memory? We went to Spain with my granddad, as I said before. And I love this photo we've got, which looks like the most glamorous of photos. There's palm trees, and there's me and Jo, and granddad's there. And it looks absolutely idyllic, picture perfect. I mean, it's a postcard. But what you can't see on the photo is just off to the photo, are all the bins of the back of the restaurant. But this one little piece was beautiful.

Jo 29:33 Yeah, absolutely.

Andy 29:33 And I think that sums up the issue around holidays, which is don't look at someone's holiday and think, wow, they've had an amazing time. They've come back suntanned and they're all happy and relaxed. And that's great.

Jo 29:43 Yeah.

Andy 29:43 We've had a holiday. We came back from Spain, we were relaxed. I found for the first time since driving trucks, I had clean hands. Who knew! It only took two weeks to actually get all the dirt that was ingrained in my hands. So, you know, that photo reminds me of the fact that you can have some good times. But ,actually, there's always other stuff around that you don't see. And some of that is really bad, like the wheelie bins that really stank, but it was a great photo. And some of the things were other things. And we really enjoyed that time. It was a really good time to, to be away from the norm. Although you met one of your colleagues and had a chat about work. But apart from that, randomly on the beach, but you can't, you know, it's fun. It's fine holidays. They're not biblical. However, it's really good to go away and have time if God wants us to have periods of rest. And extended periods of rest are really good! Whether that's retirement where work tends to change, rather than stop. But yeah, holidays, those times of rest. But what's your heart? What's your motivation? Why is it you want time to do something different? Is it to escape? And as an excuse? Well, we're on holiday. We can drink more, we can eat more, we can smoke more, we can go off and have sex with different people, 'cos it's a holiday. And I've met people that say that. But none of those are good things. That that's not, that's not a good motivation. So what's your heart?

Jo 30:53 Yeah. And I was just thinking that as far as Marriage Matters is concerned, how is it going to help your marriage?

Andy 30:57 Is that holiday gonna to fix your marriage? Or is it just going to lay all your issues out on the beach, for the local Gendarmes to come and chat to you about, perhaps. Foreign police aren't quite as friendly as the British ones are they?

Jo 31:10 I don't know.

Andy 31:10 I remember on the plane across to Spain, "Oh one last thing", said this, said the Air Hostess. "Uust just remember the police, in Spain, they're not quite as friendly, so don't go chatting with them". Okay! hey, it was a good time.

Jo 31:23 Don't give them eye contact.

Andy 31:25 Don't look at them! They've got guns. What's going on here? It's different cultures.

Jo 31:28 Yeah.

Andy 31:29 Tread lightly. Thank you for joining us for another Marriage Matters, where we're tackling this slightly lighter hearted stuff like this. But it's part of life, so it's good to talk about it. So if you've got any thoughts, good holidays, bad holidays, do you feel free to share them. We'd like to see that we're not the only ones that have bad times. Thanks for joining us today with your listening, reading or watching. Enjoy the rest of wherever you are today and we'll be back again next week for more. Sorry about that!

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