S02E006, Rubies are a wife’s best friend! Marriage Matters

Avatar The BerryBunch | 27/08/2022

Introduction

In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo look at how precious a wife is – well a good Wife, no! - an excellent Wife, not just any Wife! Don’t worry, Andy and Jo promised to cover husbands next week!

You may have guessed already that Andy B reads from Proverbs 31 and in particular verse 10 – to find out that an excellent wife is more precious than Rubies, Jewels or Pearls, depending on your bible translation. The long and short is a good Wife is valuable and precious like expensive gems, hence Rubies are a wife’s best friend!

The Meaty Section

Andy and Jo chew through some difficult topics and try and make sense of it all.

#RealTalk and #RealLife is just what we do!

Tips and Resources

  • Andy B recommends all, not just men, read ‘Thoughts for Young Men’ by J.C Ryle
  • Jo recommends a book written by April Cassidy: ‘The Peaceful Wife’
  • And to find a good example of a wife of noble character – an excellent Wife – then Jo tells us to look no further than the Book of Ruth in the Bible and recommends we read all about Ruth in ‘Ruth’!

The Take Away

Andy – Looks will change, but a passion for Jesus is the thing we should be pursuing in whoever we desire to marry.

Jo – It feels good to be valued and considered valuable as a wife. Proverbs 31 is an encouragement to do the right thing as a wife and it’s good to know that it applies to us all!

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

READ THE TRANSCRIPT

Andy 0:28
Well, hello and welcome to

Jo 0:30
Marriage Matters

Andy 0:31
with me.

Jo 0:32
Andy

Andy 0:33
And you

Jo 0:34
Jo.

Andy 0:35
Well rehearsed. It's like slick, isn't it? So slick? You're very welcome to join us for another podcast episode,with a video alongside it.

Jo 0:43
Yeah.

Andy 0:43
Is it a podcast or is it a video? Is it a vlog?

Jo 0:46
I don't know.

Andy 0:48
Whatever it is, you're welcome to join us anyway. So we talk about all things of the matter, because Marriage Matters.

Jo 0:54
Yes

Andy 0:55
No, that's wrong.

Andy 0:56
All things marriage, because it matters.

Andy 0:58
It matters because Marriage Matters. Anyway, shall we just, we'll just push on. So, if you want to keep in touch with all that we're doing, which is worthwhile because you'll miss some really super exciting news, which I can't still yet actually been allowed to say, but there's some really exciting stuff coming up otherwise on BerryBunch. But if you want to stay in touch with all of that, then you can like us on Facebook. You can follow us on Instagram.

Andy 1:24
How many times have we done this and it's going from my head?

Jo 1:25
I know!

Andy 1:26
You could, we're on Twitter,

Jo 1:27
Yep.

Andy 1:28
And we're pn Tumblr. But the very very best thing is to sign up to our Newsletter BerryBytes. And it's Berry whites, Bytes with a Y, because Y not?

Jo 1:36
Yes, indeed.

Andy 1:38
The jokes don't get any better. My bad!

Jo 1:42
Excellent. So, this week we will, we, we had a think about this, Well, I suppose it was my idea wasn't it to be fair.

Andy 1:50
It's ok. We're back under Jo's leadership again, so it's all alright. You can stop panicking.

Jo 1:53
I don't know it just popped into my head that scripture that talks about a noble wife, a quality wife is more precious than rubies. Which is cool!

Andy 2:05
Do you mean this one?

Jo 2:06
Ah yes that

Andy 2:07
That was almost slick, but I haven't actually got me bible open.

Jo 2:09
Proverbs 31 Verse 10, just so you you know we are speaking

Andy 2:14
"An excellent wife who can find she's far more precious than jewels".

Jo 2:18
Ah, yes, so in some translations it will say jewels .I have noticed in other translations it says pearls. But the one that I use, which is the New Living Translation, does say rubies. But, the point is, it's precious. And jewels covers all of them doesn't it.

Andy 2:35
Yes.

Jo 2:35
So it doesn't matter what, you know, you might be particular to any one jewel or diamonds or something, but it's what's precious, what's valuable. And I suppose that might change over time.

Andy 2:44
Yes.

Jo 2:45
Fluctuating in terms of what's available. But my understanding is that rubies are still very expensive.

Andy 2:51
They ain't cheap. It know exactly coal is it!

Jo 2:54
So we called it Rubies Are a Wife's Best Friend. You know how we like to come up with a really cool title!

Andy 2:59
Here you go then. So, ESV we got jewels CSB, we got jewels. NLT, it's rubies. NIV is rubies. So is the New King James. The Young's Literal Translation, that's rubies. ICB, tat's rubies.

Jo 3:15
Yeah, interesting.

Andy 3:15
And the Amplified Version is rubies or pearls.

Jo 3:19
Ah, pearls. Yeah. So, basically something very precious,

Andy 3:23
Yes.

Jo 3:23
Very expensive, very valuable.

Andy 3:25
Not a block of coal.

Jo 3:26
No, is what a wife, and not just any wife, like not every wife is a Ruby, or a diamond, or whatever jewel you think's most precious or most valuable, but a noble wife. So, that means, someone with good qualities Excellent. Not just good, actually excellent qualities.

Andy 3:43
exceedingly good,

Jo 3:43
A good character. And that is unpicked, isn't it in Proverbs 31. We're talking about someone's really kind, looks after the poor, looks after their family, works hard. A really good egg.

Jo 3:43
I've got a bombshell for later as well.

Jo 3:57
Oh, right.

Andy 3:58
On what a wife is not acorrding to 31, 10.

Jo 4:00
Yes, it's in there, isn't it? But, yeah, a good wife, is really precious.

Andy 4:06
And I would say as a husband having found a wife that is really precious. Yes. I agree!

Jo 4:13
So, that's what we're talking about.

Andy 4:14
They're not a dime a dozen!

Jo 4:15
No, no.

Andy 4:16
We're really mixing our metaphors today aren't we.

Jo 4:19
That's what we're talking about.

Andy 4:20
Shall we? Shall I shut up now?

Jo 4:21
And move on?

Andy 4:22
Yes!

Jo 4:22
So, let's pray. Andy's gonna come on, and show us how to pray. Excellent. What? What have you got there?

Andy 4:29
It's my world Atlas.

Jo 4:30
Okay.

Andy 4:31
So I can pray for the world.

Jo 4:32
Okay.

Andy 4:33
You see, prayer is good,

Jo 4:34
Right. Okay. You're gonna show us how to do that then?

Andy 4:36
Yeah, yeah. So I've gone, I've got me atlas. And, if you go to the letter A. I'm going to start here. So

Jo 4:36
Yeah

Andy 4:42
Please God, please bless Abenra, and Archsun and Arbor.

Jo 4:49
What did you like about the story?

Dave the Dog 4:51
Bob

Jo 4:52
Bob, you liked Bob?

Dave the Dog 4:53
And the stick?

Jo 4:55
You like the stick?

Dave the Dog 4:56
Me like sticks a lot I do.

Jo 4:57
Well, okay, well, we'll try and make sure there's more sories with sticks in

Dave the Dog 5:01
Thank you.

Jo 5:01
Dave, especially for you.

Jo 5:12
Okay, welcome back to Marriage Matters, where we're looking at how precious a wife is.

Andy 5:19
Ah, Matters of the marriage that matter 'cos Marriage Matters.

Jo 5:21
Oh, okay, delayed reaction. We should have had that at the start. Thank you, Andy.

Andy 5:25
You're welcome.

Jo 5:26
And so let's look at what we're looking at. You know, we're looking at what a noble wife is, and what we mean, Noble seems like an old word. But it's about good qualities, excellent qualities. And it does that, that is written all around in Proverbs 31. And what I find in this day and age, it seems like women are meant to be super amazing at everything, aren't they? And there's a lot of pressure on women to look good on the outside, you know, to be pretty ,to wear the right makeup to wear the right clothes, to walk the right way. But there also put a pressure to be able to do almost be a superwoman, isn't it? And this isn't what Proverbs is about. This isn't what the Scriptures are saying. In fact, it's much better!

Andy 6:10
I was just looking up the

Jo 6:10
What were you thinking?

Andy 6:11
Well, no, I was just looking up the word noble.

Jo 6:12
Ah, brilliant.

Andy 6:13
I actually didn't know what it means. So there's a few different, depending on what context it means different things. In this context "having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honour".

Jo 6:25
Ooh, now that sounds very good, doesn't it? Yeah. And, you know, and they, you know, they're hard to find. You were saying that, you know, they're not easy to find not, not every wife, not every woman is like this.

Andy 6:36
No!

Jo 6:37
And that's why it's so precious. I mean, you can find lots of rocks, and stones, and precious stones, and some that look really nice, actually. But, actually, it's a lot harder to find those jewels, isn't it? I mean, I'm not that I know, because I've not gone looking for gems, but my understanding is, its quite hard to find.

Andy 6:52
It's quite funny listening to you. So, yeah this we're looking at from a husband's pont of view, more so, looking at the wife. And then, next month, we're looking at the husband from the wife's perpective, more so.

Jo 6:52
Ok.

Andy 6:52
So, if you're thinking 'Oh, what about the men?' One, shut up. And, two, that's next week.

Jo 6:52
Yeah. So, what are you, look poised ready to read something from the scripture.

Andy 6:53
I'm always poised, darling next to you. I never quite know where you're going. So,

Jo 7:18
I heard that.

Andy 7:20
Oh. Was that out loud? It's all right. No one will hear that's fine. Yeah. And excellent wife, who can find she's far more precious than jewels. Can I read out of here?

Jo 7:27
Yeah, yeah.

Andy 7:27
A little snippet. So this is from the ESV Study Bible. It's just some notes. But I think it helps to paint the picture just slightly more broadly. Whenever you're looking at anything to do with the Bible, you don't just look at the verse, you look at the context, what's the verses before and after, the chapter before and after. And it helps you put it in context. And this is referring to the whole of Proverbs, but specifically, verse 10 onwards. Because verse 10, to the end of Proverbs 31, is what you call an acrostic poem.

Jo 7:54
Ooh.

Andy 7:55
Hey! it's fancy. But it says it here is not my knowledge, don't worry. I'm reading somebody else's.

Andy 8:00
An acrostic poem is, it works with every letter of the Hebrew alphabet. And the reason why they are suggesting that that is done is to say two things. One, it applies to everybody. And also, 2, the whole idea of the excellence of that wife. It's not limited to she looks good, or she's good with money. Actually, it's everything. It encompasses the entire Hebrew alphabet. It encompasses the entire spectrum of being good.

Jo 8:28
Excellent.

Andy 8:28
Does that makes sense?

Jo 8:30
Yep.

Andy 8:30
Okay. I sort of paraphrased actually what was written here.

Jo 8:36
Oh, you've done it, you've said it basically?

Andy 8:37
No, I did it accidentally.

Jo 8:38
Well, that was quite clever of you.

Andy 8:39
Not a bad paraphrase that. And here's a little bombshell. Quite often certain, in Christian circles, 'the wife should stay at home with the children and that's all she's supposed to do, she isn't supposed to have a job, she's supposed to care for the home.' Actually, in Proverbs, it doesn't say that! It actually says that she's supposed to be managing the finances, and having work, and jobs and stuff.

Jo 8:57
Yeah.

Andy 8:57
So that isn't to say that our work should work. It isn't to say that a wife shouldn't work. But, if you are of the opinion that a wife should not have a job when she's married, she should be at home with the children, you've missed the point. Actually, quite phenomenally. Because, one, that implies that a wife can't be a wife without children. And that's ridiculous! The position of 'wife' is in relation to her husband, not in relation to children. That's 'Mother', you know? It is a bit of an obvious one, but it's true! And, the secondary part to this is, in the Proverbs 31, one of the, one of the, it paints a very large picture of all sorts of things that people who, whether they are married or not, should be aspiring to, if they love Jesus. This isn't just about a wife. Actually, one of those is about having industry, about having commerce, about buying and selling. Well, that isn't a wife who sits at home.

Jo 9:44
No.

Andy 9:45
Looking after the kids and, you know, dusting and cleaning and cooking. That's very limited. And actually the Proverbs 31, it's a much larger picture of what a wife should be in the eyes of God.

Jo 9:55
What I like about Proverbs is that my understanding, it seems like it's from a father to a son, isn't It is saying, look, look, son, this is what I want you to think about all throughout Proverbs before you get to 31. But, as you say, it's for everyone. Don', don't get me wrong, but the the idea of it was for a father talking to a son. And there's some real warnings about what, you know, what woman you shouldn't look for. So, this really, is about someone who might be seeking to get married, might be seeking a wife. And also, you know, knowing and understanding what to look for so you don't end up with some of the ones that are mentioned. I don't know if you wanted to go into some of the opposite side of this beautiful Ruby.

Andy 10:34
Well, for every Ruby, there's also a lump of clay or, or a lump of some't else that's, you know, there. And the thing is about proverbs 31, it's not. Proverbs 31 does not say this is what a wife should be like. Proverbs 31, verse 10 onwards, is saying, here are many, many things that a wife, who loves God, should be.

Andy 10:54
But, it also applies to anybody who loves Jesus, because then you've got the Bride of Christ. So, therefore, a lot of that, well all of that, pretty much, should be things that we, as Christ's bride in the church, should be aspiring towards. So, we should be working hard. And we shouldn't be lazy. And we should be doing this. And we should be doing that. And that's important!

Andy 11:13
So, it's not just wives be like this, 'cos that's kind of missing the point. That's a bit narrow! And I think there's so much in there. I mean, I could, I could happily teach on proverbs 31, for the next 10 weeks. But let's not do that. So we're going to cover men next week.

Andy 11:28
But, I find it interesting that in Proverbs, there are many, many warnings for young men about women who they should be very careful to avoid, and the pitfalls of wives, or women, who are not loving of God. And we've said to our boys, many times, when you're looking for a bride, and I've been praying every day, since Stephen was minus three months old, for them to find godly wives who they can marry and serve the Lord. That's my nightly prayer for each one of the boys.

Andy 11:56
The Bible doesn't say, why, women watch out for these dodgy men. Actually it says repeatedly, men watch out for these dodgy women. And that's not to say that women are worse than men. That's not to say there are no dodgy men around. But it is actually something that's repeated. So, actually, we should be taking care of, of what we're seeing. And the reason why this is supposed to be the entirety of a woman, and all of us is, you're not just looking for a wife who's good at sewing, let's go back 50 years or 100 years.

Andy 12:21
You're not just after a wife who can cook and, bringing that into the current context, you're not just after a wife who can, who can actually fix your computer for you. That's another one, a bit more modern. Actually, there should be lots of factors that are pointing you to the fact that this person loves Jesus Christ more than you. And I know that Jo loves God more than me. And that makes me very happy!

Jo 12:41
Yeah.

Andy 12:41
Because my boys see a really good example of a godly woman,

Jo 12:44
Ah, that's very sweet, sweet. I mean, the thing is, I think it is in Scripture, isn't it about being careful not to be attracted by just the beauty of someone on the outside. And I'm sure there's many women who turned out to be quite awful inside. And we should be looking for the beauty within. I mean, there's scriptures about women shouldn't be adorning themselves with all this clothing and jewellery.

Jo 13:03
And, if someone is very interested in what they look like, and men can be like, like that, too, don't get me wrong, but we're obviously focusing on women, and wives, at the moment. And so, if men are looking for someone to marry, and they're very, very focused on how they look, as much as that's gonna attract. I mean, you obviously need to be attracted to the other person.

Andy 13:19
It helps.

Jo 13:20
But, you know, there, you know, we need to be careful that we don't choose someone just because of the way they look. 'Cos those looks will diminish over the years, and we're looking at longevity of marriage aren't we?

Andy 13:29
I'm not gonna respond to this one.

Jo 13:31
No, but you know, you, it changes. It's, you know, we've fallen in love with this, this beauty that's 25 year old, or 20 year old, that's going to change.

Andy 13:40
ActuaIly I will respond to that you've changed as you get older, your body's changed. Things are not always as they were because we've been married for 25 years plus now. And you're different. But, there's two things that have never changed and one is your eyes. And one is your heart.

Andy 13:53
Your eyes still scream, "I love Jesus". And there's such a brightness and a light to them. And your heart is always a passionate for Jesus. And I fell in love with your love for Jesus Christ. And that's what attracted me to you. And there's nothing better. Because if, if you're looking at looks, you're going to be disappointed.

Andy 14:10
Dr. Neil Anderson from the States, who runs Freedom in Christ Ministries, we've pushed this, pushed you towards him several times. It's really good! But he makes this point.

Andy 14:18
'On your wedding day', speaking to husbands. 'On your wedding day, husbands, your bride is the best she's ever gonna look.' And, after the initial laugh, you start to think? 'Well, yeah'.

Andy 14:28
And he makes the point, the flowers, the clothing, everything is set in that church to make that wife's beauty stand out the very best it can. At no other point in your marriage is that much effort ever going to be put in to your bride. So, on your wedding day, that's the best she's ever gonna be? And, actually, there's a depth of truth to that, in that over time, we change.

Andy 14:28
I'm not quite as fit as I used to be nor are you. This is part of life. I'm going grey, whether that's good or not I don't really know. I don't really care, to be honest. It's part of life! But, things change. And, actually, if you're only focused, or attracted, to 'Well she's really beautiful', or 'You've got nice hair' or whatever, you're going to be really disappointed when she goes grey, or your wife gets pregnant, and then she's not thin anymore, you know. And, if you're not careful, you end up focusing on completely the wrong thing. Rather than the fact that my bride loves Jesus Christ more than me. It doesn't get any better than that.

Jo 15:22
I was thinking about a lot, so many of the western films, it starts with a drunken man, who's had a run in with a woman who's, who's obviously hurt, broke their hearts, haven't they. And you see it time and time again. And I know that it says in the Bible that women are the weaker sex in, in a sense, in some ways. But, actually, men are vulnerable and have a weakness, sometimes, to, to falling in love maybe with the, with the wrong, wrong person, and going down a wrong road. And I see it in the Westerns. And, you know, there are stories to tell aren't there, which is what the Bible's warning us against isn't it? Not getting tangled up in, in women who are going to hurt them, that are going to just destroy them.

Andy 16:02
Verse 12, of Proverbs 31 sums it up quite nicely.

Andy 16:05
"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life".

Andy 16:10
Not, she's mostly in favour of him. Or, if she's having a good day, she might help him out. Actually, "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life". It's not just even doing good. She does not do harm. She does do good, every single day.

Jo 16:23
Yeah.

Andy 16:24
And I would say, even in times when we haven't been getting as well as we'd like to, we've had an argument, or whatever, we're tired, life's gone wrong, crossed word, whatever. I still know that you're for me.

Jo 16:34
Yeah.

Andy 16:34
Because, beyond everything else, is your love for Jesus. And that means that I know I'm okay.

Jo 16:39
Yeah, that's it, isn't it.

Andy 16:40
In what do you put your faith? Do you put your faith in your wife's beauty and looks? the fact she can speak well? She's got a good public speaker. Or do you look at her heart? Because, actually, that's more important!

Jo 16:40
Yeah. And whats it? The beginning of wisdom is, is

Andy 16:54
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Not the fear of the wife. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. But I, what I'm really quite chuffed with is I got somebody who looks beautiful and in the heart too.

Jo 17:04
Sweet. You say all the right things.

Andy 17:05
I do don't I! Shall we take a little break?

Steven 17:14
So Endurance. Wait, no, first, I'm Steven.

Nathan 17:18
I'm Nathan.

Steven 17:18
And we're brothers actually,

Nathan 17:20
Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed. I mean I know the much more masculine physique on this side may have thrown you off.

Steven 17:29
Yeah, I'm actually older.

Nathan 17:31
Yeah

Steven 17:31
Taller, stronger, fitter.

Nathan 17:34
Maybe?

Steven 17:36
No, definitely!

Nathan 17:38
Anyway, that's not the point of Endurance. It's spiritual training, not physical.

Steven 17:41
Yep, yep.

Nathan 17:42
Not that we obviously we don't compete that much.

Steven 17:45
Nor spiritually. You shouldn't compete spiritually either.

Nathan 17:47
No.

Steven 17:48
No.

Nathan 17:48
But I am better than you.

Steven 17:49
I dunno what to say to that.

Nathan 17:53
There is no, no answer.

Steven 17:56
So, the point of Endurance is all about 1 Timothy

Nathan 17:58
Taking the mick out of each other.

Steven 17:59
It's all about 1 Timothy 4 verse 8, which says, 'Physical training is good but training for godliness is much better'. And, so, it was an idea which, I think it was my idea actually, wasn't it?

Nathan 18:12
It was it was a joint effort. There's no I in team!

Steven 18:15
Yeah, so it was definitely my idea.

Nathan 18:16
Yeah.

Steven 18:17
And the idea being that we have to, well, I was challenged, because basically I enjoy exercise. I was doing lots of weight training, lots of running, and I was getting a bit obsessed by it.

Nathan 18:27
You were failing to train spiritually.

Steven 18:30
Yeah, you could say that I was idolising physical fitness rather than

Nathan 18:33
So, we created Endurance to help him learn better how to balance spiritual and physical training.

Steven 18:40
Yeah, basically. Okay.

Nathan 18:43
Because I've already cracked it.

Steven 18:45
No, no.

Nathan 18:47
No.

Steven 18:49
You've got a long way to go yet. So go check us out!

Nathan 18:53
I can see it like the end of the tunnel. I mean, you're way behind.

Andy 19:09
So, welcome back for Tips and Resources. Yes. Anyway, so, I've hit my mic stand. Whoopsies. So I, I've struggled with my boys sometimes. Not with them personally, but to know how best to prepare them for their future.

Andy 19:24
I know what it's like to meet women who are quite enticing, but you just, you know, they're not very healthy for you. And, actually, as Christian men, we shouldn't be going around looking for a wife. That's absolutely wrong. If you're thinking, oh, I just want to get into dating. Well, before you get to dating, you need to say to God, do you want me to have a wife? Because the only purpose of actually going out with somebody else is for thinking about marriage in the future, on a kind of romantical kind of way. And, so, I've always thought, well how do I best prepare my boys?

Andy 19:52
And I've said this many times. I'll say it many, many times more. We've said to them if ever you want to get married and you feel like there's a woman that you'd like to make your wife, before you do anything come back to us, and we'll pray and fast for you for a week, as a family. And let's put some prayer into this because actually marriage is not to serve us. It isn't 'cos it's a nice thing to do. It isn't because we're a bit bored and lonely. Marriages serve God. That's their purpose. And marriage is a symbol of worship for God. So, therefore, it isn't some't to enter lightly.

Andy 20:20
However, one of the books I found, which is brilliant. J C Ryle who, well, he'd be quite old now, if he was alive. He was alive a long, long time ago, wrote a book. This one here. Which is called "Thoughts For Young Men", by JC Ryle.

Andy 20:32
Now somebody, very helpfully, has modernised this book 'cos he was alive in the thou, and thee, and thy stuff, which is language, that means nothing to me anymore. So, they've modernised it really, really well, without losing the essence of what the book is about. And I've got my boys to read this. And it's a really, really good book!

Andy 20:47
Now, this is for young men. But you could say for young women, because actually every single truth in here, whilst he's applying it to men, and I've read this, actually, I would say it's equally applicable to men, and to women. But JC Ryle was writing to men. But it's a really good book because it puts in place how men should view women, and therefore, hence, how women should view men.

Jo 21:07
Yeah, what I like about it is it's very thin book as well. A lot in it.

Andy 21:11
There's a lot in this considering it's quite large text at 43 pages, there's an awful lot in there less.

Jo 21:16
A nice thin book!

Andy 21:17
We like thin books. They're good.

Jo 21:19
The book I've got, then, is by April Cassidy. Now she talks in her book, and this is the book here, The Peaceful Wife. This came out of, sort of, blogging, wasn't it mostly, I think you've found her first. And April does describe in the book, actually, that she wasn't a particularly good wife. And she was very honest about how she behaved in the earlier part of their marriage. And so, I suppose, she had a bit of a lightbulb experience with God, who really spoke to her about her behaviour, her character. And I think now she's very much a Ruby, really. A real real jewel. A real precious gem. And so worth looking up April Cassidy and finding that book.

Andy 22:01
The Peaceful Wife. I have to say she's not blogging now.

Jo 22:04
No.

Andy 22:04
Not necessarily permanently. But she's taking quite a very long, indefinite, pause.

Jo 22:08
Yeah, but she was around for many years. And I guess her materials might still be available.

Andy 22:12
And you can stil buy her books.

Jo 22:12
Yeah, buy the book! But, yeah, I've read this book. And, you know, it might be, you might want to just read a chapter at a time, and let it sort of soak in. 'Cos it's very, it's not radical. But it feels radical, because it's so very against society, isn't it? The world expects, has other expectations. But, I must admit, by reading the book, I myself became quite peaceful.

Andy 22:35
You became like super peaceful.

Jo 22:37
Yeah, there's some real gentleness. Some real peacefulness, and wow, do we need that! Wives, women in this world. There's chaos, there's so much vying for our attention, and to read that book is really useful. So that's a top tip!

Jo 22:49
And so in thinking about noble wives, women who are of good character, obviously, there's a few in the Bible. But one that strikes out is Ruth. And there's a whole book about Ruth, Ruth and Boaz.

Andy 23:02
Boaz!

Jo 23:03
So you get to hear about the male side as well.

Andy 23:05
Boaz, that's awesome.

Jo 23:05
And it's a lovely, and it's not particularly big as well is it. It's not long. It's not like Genesis or Exodus.

Andy 23:10
We do like reading, honest.

Jo 23:11
There's about four or five chapters to read. So it's really worth just sitting down for half an hour and reading Ruth and finding about what a great character she was. So those are our top tips.

Andy 23:20
Yes. Take a little break?

Jo 23:22
Yes.

Andy 23:22
A break with Dave.

Jo 23:38
How do people talk to you normally. Do they talk in burning bushes?

Dave the Dog 23:42
Sit.

Jo 23:42
Sit.

Dave the Dog 23:43
Fetch.

Jo 23:44
Fetch.

Dave the Dog 23:44
Know what I say back?

Jo 23:47
What do you say back?

Dave the Dog 23:48
You chuck the stick? Get it yourself!

Jo 23:56
Dave, are you there?

Dave the Dog 24:00
Ar, I'm here, ar,

Jo 24:00
Oh, hello, Dave. Oh, I think we got the same problem as last week. I can't see you.

Dave the Dog 24:05
Have you opened your eyes?

Jo 24:06
Yes, I've opened my eyes!

Jo 24:12
You name it. He could play it.

Dave the Dog 24:15
Pipe Organ.

Jo 24:16
Pipe Organ? Yeah, with all the pipes.

Dave the Dog 24:19
Lots of buttons, like a spaceship.

Jo 24:19
Spaceship.

Jo 24:21
Yeah, you're looking good. Have you done something to your hair?

Dave the Dog 24:25
I had my hair sorted.

Jo 24:25
You had your hair sorted?

Dave the Dog 24:25
Went to the dog groomers.

Jo 24:28
Cor, brilliant. You look great.

Dave the Dog 24:30
Thankyou.

Jo 24:30
It's good to see you.

Jo 24:36
Do you know what your name means Dave?

Dave the Dog 24:39
Dave.

Jo 24:39
Dave. It just means Dave.

Dave the Dog 24:41
Yes.

Jo 24:41
Well, I looked it up and it's short for David. And it means beloved. That means you're lovable.

Dave the Dog 24:48
Long for d.

Jo 24:48
Long for d.

Jo 24:56
Big long stick to help him protect his sheep.

Dave the Dog 25:00
I like sticks.

Jo 25:00
You like sticks?

Dave the Dog 25:00
You gonna throw a stick?

Andy 25:24
And we're back. For the takeaway. The Take Away. We are!

Andy 25:31
So, we've talked about quite a few different things. And I think one of them that's really striking me, to sort of conclude all this stuff is the, if you look around in society, Hollywood, we always unfairly accuse Hollywood? Maybe not. Actually, Hollywood has this vision of what a wife, or a woman should be. And, if you look in the current climate, there is no such thing as a woman, and it's getting ridiculous. God's very clear. There's men, there's women. And, actually, God's vision for how a wife should be is really quite countercultural. And that's something that we are very, very aware of. And we're always trying to think, how do we, how do we share with our boys the best ways of demonstrating what they should be looking for in a future bride? If that's what God's gonna call them to?

Andy 26:17
I'm praying everyday for them. That doesn't necessarily mean I've got it right. And that needs to be for them to decide with God.

Andy 26:23
But, actually, when I look towards Jo, I think, well, here's a really good example. I don't need to say this to Jo to win her. I've already done that! And she won me many years ago. But it's true! I actually look at you and think the boys are really fortunate and blessed that, in you, they have a really good example of what a godly woman should be like.

Jo 26:41
Yeah, and there are other people in our lives as well that we can point to.

Andy 26:43
Yes, there are. There's some great people.

Jo 26:44
Yeah.

Andy 26:45
A lady called Ros, who's, you know, she's almost like a surrogate mother. She's wonderful. It's like, that. Be like that, boys. That's what you after. Somebody who really cares about you in that kind of way, that has that that gentle, motherly, protective, you know, encouraging, challenging all that rolled into one? It's amazing.

Jo 26:59
Yeah.

Andy 27:00
And we've got lots of women in our life who are like that for our boys, which is really important!

Jo 27:05
I must admit, I thought we'd talk more about sort of the bad, bad side. And we didn't actually go there, did we? And actually, to understand the truth, and the right thing is to focus on the real thing isn't it.

Andy 27:17
The authentic is to look for the good.

Jo 27:18
Look for the good. You know, when they talk about a currency, you, you familiarise yourself with the real currency and then you'll be able to see the negative one. So, when you read the Bible, you read Proverbs, you stay focused on that. You look at other women who are doing it the right way. Then, when you come across the wrong, the bad egg, the wrong, the wrong woman, you'll know it. It'll be obvious won't it!

Andy 27:39
You don't look at the fake to work out the fake, you're fake. You look at the authentic to work out the fake.

Jo 27:44
Yeah, and hopefully, because you've stayed true to God, you won't be tricked into going down the wrong path.

Andy 27:51
So, what's your Take Away dear?

Jo 27:52
My Take Away? I mean, I must admit, for a few years, I've read Proverbs 31 and thought, blimey, I don't think I could do that. Or, that's an awful lot. And maybe, like many women thought, that's, I just can't do all of that. That's just physically impossible! But, you know, sort of reflecting on it now, it feels kind of nice to be thought of as a jewel, to feel precious, and feel valuable.

Andy 28:15
I see you as a jewel.

Jo 28:16
Sweet.

Andy 28:16
You went down. You were in hospital on Tuesday and you were'nt very well for the day and had to go to A & E. And we really, really, really missed you. And it wasn't so much, ooh that's a bit of an inconvenience, Jo does these things. She's not here to do them. It was, Jo's not here and she's not just part of the team, she she really, she, she leads certain things. And she guides us in certain ways. And she's not there.

Jo 28:37
Yeah, I suppose it's a bit like having a, you know, your wedding ring, isn't it? We've got I've got some diamonds in mine.

Andy 28:42
But you are okay now. Just sayin.

Jo 28:43
Yeah. Thankyou. So, you know, you take out the diamond, and it's pretty, but it sort of feels like something's missing.

Andy 28:48
It's not quite the same!

Jo 28:48
isn't it? So it's nice to be thought of being valued and precious. And I think that's something we need to hear. Women need to hear that! Because we are precious. And it does count to do good things and do the right thing. You know, and not to be tempted to go the wrong way, or this way or that, because, yeah, so, it made me feel valued.

Jo 29:08
Instead of feeling really pressured and heavy about Proverbs 31. It's made me feel light and, and, and, you know, sort of valuable really.

Andy 29:15
It should be liberating really.

Jo 29:15
Yeah, yeah, it should be. Yeah.

Andy 29:17
If it's making you heavy you're getting it wrong.

Jo 29:18
Yeah.

Andy 29:20
Quite frankly.

Jo 29:20
So, what's my Take Away? I think my Take Away is, it's a really strong reminder that God's version of what a godly woman should look like is really, it almost has nothing to do with what you see in society.

Andy 29:36
There's this thing in society that for a wife, or a woman, particularly not necessarily a wife, but for a woman to be, you know, successful, powerful whatever, she needs to have a really high profile job, and all this stuff needs to go on. And she's have a good income, and be able to be self sufficient, and have all this stuff going on as well as looking great, and going to the gym, and being super fit ,and being the perfect mum. And there's like this Proverbs 31 list that's unattainable. But, unlike Proverbs 31 which is really beautiful image of everything to work towards this, this societal version is one that grinds you into the ground. 'Cos you think, well, I can't be all those.

Jo 30:08
Yeah.

Andy 30:08
And then you've got the issue around feminism as well, you know. If a woman doesn't behave in a way that a feminist wants, then she's kind of vilified, and looked at terribly, and it's just, you know, where's the love? Where's the help? Where's the kindness? And, actually, if a woman wants to be really powerful for God, actually, to do that, it's quite opposite to what society tells you of what God's view is. It's far more powerful! And the influence that you have as a wife, it's immense. Even more so, when you do it through God's, God's version of what He would desire a wife to be like/

Jo 30:42
Yeah.

Andy 30:43
Does that make sense? Or have I just rambled?

Jo 30:44
No, it's good. It's good stuff.

Andy 30:45
Hey. Who knew!

Jo 30:48
Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I suppose I'm quite dumbfounded by, by it actually. And it's worth reflecting on further.

Andy 30:54
Thankyou. I do try, you know.

Jo 30:54
Not. No, the whole idea of women being like rubies, and how important that is. So, yeah, it's, it's good to, I need to reflect further if I'm also to Take Away. Reflect further!

Andy 31:08
So, next week will be Proverbs 32, kind of. I know there isn't a 32nd chapter. So you don't need to write it in tell us that. But, if there was a Proverbs 32, A husband of,

Jo 31:17
Yeah.

Andy 31:18
That's what we're gonna be doing.

Jo 31:19
Yeah.

Andy 31:19
We're not adding to the by bible either so just, you know, chill! But if there was a Proverbs 32, that's the kind of thing we're looking at next week. What would God say that a husband should be like? What is it a woman, or a wife, should be looking at in her husband, or future husband?

Jo 31:35
Good one.

Andy 31:35
Well, thanks for joining us. We hope you've enjoyed another session of Marriage Matters. You are more than welcome to let us know if you agree or disagree with anything. That's fine!

Jo 31:44
Yeah.

Andy 31:45
We may agree, or disagree, back. That's okay! So, yes. Thank you for joining us. And we will be back for more next week.

Jo 31:51
Bye for now.

Andy 31:52
Bye for now.

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