On this, the first episode of Season 5, we talk about how we use the phrase “I’m fine.”
We had a short break, but we’re back with a newly refined season of Endurance.
Endurance is your weekly spiritual workout, whether you think of yourself as a beginner, an intermediate, or advanced!
Steven begins his first ever GoDeeper by stating the rather obvious fact, that saying you are fine when you are not, is lying.
He goes on to unpack Colossians 3:9, which commands us not to lie to one another (other Christians).
He points out that when one lies about being fine, it is not helpful, because how can anyone help if no one knows that something is wrong.
For GoDo, Nathan asks Steven four questions regarding his #GoDeeper talk.
- How important is it really to be honest?
- When we say “I’m fine” without thinking, could that be partly the result of habit?
- Why might we be dishonest when others ask us how we are doing?
- What did you have for lunch on Friday?
Check out this week’s episode to find out Steven’s answers to these deep questions.
Steven and Nathan
Welcome to Endurance, your weekly spiritual workout. We're back after a short break with a completely new system for Endurance. Our topic for this week is, I'm fine, where we're going to look at how we respond when people ask us how we are, are we honest? Or do we simply give them the vague answer of I'm fine, or I'm alright. So next Steven will be giving us a talk on our subject. And after that, he and I, we'll have a chat about it. I'll ask him lots of pointed questions to try and make him squirm. Don't tell him that, he doesn't know you. And then we'll conclude. So hopefully, by the end, you'll have learn't something more about how to go about your spiritual exercise. Each of us will have gotten a better idea of how we train spiritually. Which as we know, spiritual training is, has benefits in this life and in the life to come. So, enjoy.
What does it benefit anyone if you have sound theology, but don't show the love that Christ showed you? #SpeakTruth.
This is our new and improved version of Endurance GoDeeper with me, Steven. So let's go. We're looking at the idea of responding to, how are you? with the expression, I'm fine. And we're kind of looking at that as not very honest, or truthful response. In fact, it's probably just a complete lie. We often joke about it as, Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. From a film. It's kind of probably more truthful to say that when you're saying your fine. It's just rarely honest, probably not helpful. The Bible says in Colossians three, nine. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old self with its practices. Colossians three, nine is in this passage from verses one to eleven, which basically says, which basically is a how to guide for Christians, from Paul to the Colossians. Very useful, you might want to check out yourself. But in the midst of it is verse nine, which says Do not lie to one another. Which I would paraphrase as, Do not lie to your brothers and sisters in Christ, do not lie in a church setting. Therefore, if someone asks you in a church setting, how are you doing? And you say, I'm fine? When it's not true?
You have kind of gone against this guidance from Colossians. Obviously, if you're in a church setting, and someone, a total stranger asks how you are, then it's not necessarily helpful to be honest there and then. I certainly wouldn't. That's not to say I would lie. But also I do all the time when someone I trust or love asks me how I'm doing and I respond with I'm fine, which isn't true. In fact, writing this talk, my dad asked me how I was doing. And I said, Yeah, it's all sorted, it's fine. But that wasn't really true, I wasn't quite prepared. And therefore it wasn't helpful, wasn't helpful. It seemed easier at the time, but it certainly wasn't when I came to talk this. Perhaps a more helpful response would have been, well just to be honest, in that particular occasion. We do it all the time, though, day in, day out, people ask how we're doing. It's kind of a go to question.
Maybe when we ask the question, we're not being prepared for a real response. Perhaps we need to ask a different question as well. So when someone asks you, how are you doing? You need to be honest, up. That reminds me, missed a point. Being dependent, you can tend to want to just say you're fine, because you don't want to be dependent on other people. Perhaps, you don't want them to be dependent on you. So you don't want to be dependent on them. Works both ways. Sorry, I lost my train of thought there. Yeah, we need to depend on other people in the church of God. It says it somewhere in the Bible. I can't remember where. It might've been Paul. We need to be dependent on one another. We shouldn't be independent. By saying I'm fine we're being dependent on ourselves. Independent, sorry. When we're honest, we're being dependent on other people. They can help us. So on, so forth. Yeah, I think that concludes everything roughly. And me and Nathan will discuss it a little bit more clearly in a minute.
Andy Berry 5:22
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Here is our last segment of Endurance. Where I shall interrogate, I mean, interview Steven on his talk, so we can sort of elaborate and discuss the points he made. So I have a few questions for you. First and foremost, how important is it really to be honest, I mean, you mentioned how when we say we're fine, and it's not true, we are lying? Is it? Is it just you know, a small white lie? Can we can we get away with it in some circumstances?
A lie is a lie, is a lie.
And I guess, the Bible says don't lie. So dishonesty is basically lying. So yeah, it's important to not lie.
You mentioned how we often say, I'm fine without even thinking do you think that could be partially the result of habits formed over time?
That's a good point. Yeah. I suppose it is. Yaeh, bad habits. The only way to break a habit is to not do it.
For what reasons might we be dishonest? When others ask us how we are?
I think one I tried to mention was, easier to not be honest, isn't it sometimes? How are you? Oh, I'd rather not say, oh, I'm fine. Nice. End of conversation. Sorted.
Or perhaps. Easiest. What else we got?
Well. If you feel like it causes you to be vulnerable, or as a result of pride.
If you don't want to talk about it, then it's easier to be dishonest.
Yeah. Yeah, cool. Okay, so what did you have lunch on Friday? That was the most important one I was saving for the last.
Lunch on Friday. Blimey. Wait, that was only yesterday? I think I had fried eggs on toast.
Don't like fried eggs.
Why d'you ask?
Don't know, I thought it might help. Okay, so that rounds up this week's episode of Endurance. Thank you very much, Steven. My interviewee and to conclude, I think really, when people ask us how we are saying, I'm fine, is not actually helpful because we're being dishonest to others. We're not being honest with ourselves. And it just gets us into a whole heap of issues and problems where we can't really deal with any of the problems we have. So it's important. Obviously, you need to do be honest only with people that you trust. But at the end of the day, you need to make sure that you are honest and truthful and saying I'm fine. In whatever way you might say it might say, I'm alright, or, doesn't matter. Or, I'm doing okay. Either way, it's not being real. It's not being honest. And it's not. It's being disobedient to God at the end of the day.
See you next week
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Written by Steven The Dude